What I want from 2018

I just made it through the first song from the forthcoming album by a band called Genocide Pact. Sure that is an awful name so I should know better but I was trying to give everything a listen in my in-box. Then I realized this is going to be a good way to waste 2018. I listen to hundreds of albums of the course of a month. Not all get reviewed. Since I do all the reviews personally for this site, it's a huge investment of time. So in order to not waste my 2018 listening to a death metal band that just sounds like every other death metal band I need to work smart not hard and make use of the limited time I have to invest in this blog wisely. So this brings us to you dear band, p/r firm, or record label. Here is what I want from you in 2018.

 I want black metal... but not just a blast fest or something that sounds like a Darkthrone album I already heard ten years ago. I prefer you to be depressive, this trend of ripping off Dissection, is no longer going to fly now that I already have Watain and Tribulation under my belt. Don't sound like you were recorded in your grand ma's basement, but don't sound like Nightwish either.


 I want doom... I want the darkness and sonic depth of funereal doom without every song being dragged out over ten minutes. No excessive Sabbath worship, more doom than retro rock.

 I want death metal...deep dark and atmospheric, yet not a total Incantation or Morbid Angel rip off, nothing derivative of Cannibal Corpse

 I want thrash...once again dark, think Voivod, Dark Angel and Testament, but don't be a carbon copy of those bands, melody and catchy riffs at must.

 I want punk and hardcore...don't preach, be able to play your instruments and write a song, if you don't know how to do this refer to the Misfits or Minor Threat. Dark is good just ask old Iceage. Fast won't make you better, loud might

. I am not opposed to power-metal and folk metal...don't get too happy or sound like Helloween. Be dark and angry, think Kamelot or Tyr. Give me something that makes me want to play D&D without cheesing me out. No LARPing.


 I want death rock...but sonically intense, sleazy, drugged out, surreal, be able to sing and not just a punk band playing dress up. I want industrial...do drugs and make me believe it, this world is about to end I need you to set the mood, bring guitars. have your drums crush me


 I want indie rock...be dark be melodic, be angular, use cool guitar tones don't just jangle, have some balls, experiment, shoe gaze is fine , just write songs don't drone.

 I want sludge...don't just sound like Neurosis, check out Bloodlet, dark as fuck is a must, atmosphere a plus, dynamics just as important


 I want goth...good beats and vocals are a must. Check out the new Rain Within and don't do that , but take notes on how they worked old and new into something their own. Elegance is a must. Siouxsie rip offs no thanks. A dash of dark wave helps.

 I want rock...here it can be tricky, some kind of shadow side or melancholy is a must, Black Foxxes did an excellent job of doing this a couple of years ago as did most of the grunge bands from the 90s. Have some balls, I don't expect you to be metal.

 I want prog rock...there is a hug gap left by Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum, at the same time I love 70s prog like Gabriel era Genesis and King Crimson, so dark not too happy or flowery, be able to shred when needed, but not just acrobatics, most important don't sound like Dream Theater.


 IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW THESE RULES I WILL DELETE YOU IN 30 SECONDS. By all means be original, if you can break these rules but deliver whats in the bounds of my tastes in a way that will compete with the shit I normally listen to do it, I want new music. Obviously anything along the lines of The Smiths, David Bowie, the Cure , Kate Bush, the Cocteau Twins or Dead Can Dance