Here's the 3rd installment of this series, with a theme of if you are sharing your life with someone once of the most important things you can share is your music. It's the pieces of me that I don’t have words for as they are an amalgamation of my thoughts and emotions relating to sonic vibrations. Music can always take me back to a place in time. This encompasses the period of time of my bottoming out from my heroin addiction and the recovery from that. So when I think of it in terms of what made me who I am today and how do I get to where I am. I can say this is the sound of where I was before I had the capacity to open my self up. This is the sound of what I had to live through to be a person capable of wanting interaction with another being. So this is a soundtrack to that. I have organized it in terms of the year these songs are released . The story they tell is somewhat loose. This is me giving these songs as token to someone of what was inside me before they knew me. This is what my life sounded like before I met them
Yeah, I know we already did a top 10 break up songs, but this is my fucking blog so I do whatever the hell I want. Toxic Love are chemicals still in motion, making the difference being these songs the end result is not as clear cut and in the dysfunction there is the hope for a light at the end of the tunnel which may or may not be the train. I think this rings true because even when things go wrong there are always layers of feelings, so that what I am going for here, so this is almost more of a playlist for exploring the range of feelings. The songs are selected as what has hit my current mood this morning rather than me going through ever song I own to make sure this is the definitive list, after all love is more of in the right now than the forever. I'll let the lyrics of these songs do the talking rather than throw my to cents in as we count these down , which are not in the strictest order so if you are ocd, then get over they have just been arranged the way they are.
10- the Magnetic Fields- "All My Little Words"
Now that you've made me want to die , you tell me your're unboyfriendable"
9- the Used - "Buried Myself Alive"
"I guess it's ok I puked the day away, I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way"
8-Chris Isaak - "Things go Wrong"
"Trying to remember , what I know I should forget"
7-Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - "It Gonna Rain Anymore"
"Once there came a storm in the form of a girl
It blew to pieces my snug little world "
6-Morrissey- "the More You Ignore Me"
"I now an essential part of your mind's landscape , whether you care or Not"
4- Emma Ruth Rundle - "Furious Angel"
If I send you my army only you can disarm me If you won’t have me or bring me your love Furious angels reign death from above onto me
5- The Postal Service - "the District Sleeps Alone Tonight"
"I am finally seeing, I was the one worth leaving"
3- the Drums - "Blood Under my Belt"
I am scared of the child that lives in me
I don't know if he learns
You left your t-shirt under the bed we shared together
I put it over my face
2- Sunnyday Real Estate - "Song About an Angel"
And all the time I tried to let you know
Discomfort comes clearly
1- Chelsea Wolfe- "The Waves Have Come"
I made you queen and you forgave me
we'll be given the world in the right time
but we made our own and left it empty
Here we are in the top twenty , so let the butt hurt begin as you start to see what you thought to be the best album of your drunken high school days is not on the list, because there are better albums, sure these might not have out sold Pearl Jam, but they have stood the test of time much better.
20- Sade - "Love Deluxe"
Half of you might have been conceived to this album. There were many trip hop albums that could have made the list, but Sade does what they do better, yes that includes Tricky and Massive Attack, who put out some good songs, but we are talking entire albums front to back and even "Mezzanine" has a little filler on it.
19- Cranberries- "Everybody Else Is Doing It So Why Can't We?"
This album carried more longing and passion than every thing they released after. The Cocteau Twins influence was very strong, but the vocals were layered in a different manner that makes this album.
18- Sunny Day Real Estate - "Diary"
If you were to own only one so called "emo" album, this would be the one. The band was disrupted in their prime by this guy named Dave Grohl who stole them for his cock rock band. Jeremy always claimed they started off as a hardcore band who was trying to play slow songs and on this album you can hear that more than the others.
17-Tori Amos- "Little Earthquakes"
Three years ago I ruined Tori Amos for my fiance when I played her Kate Bush and we have never been able to listen to her in the car since. While this is her "Lion Heart" it carries much more anger than Kate Bush ever taps into with the exception of the last song on "the Dreaming". Front to back their are no filler songs anywhere to be found and Tori can tinkle the keys better than Kate.
16- Nirvana - "In Utero"
if you don't understand why this beat out "Nevermind" I'm not sure why you are reading my blog, but the short blurb version is that "Nevermind" is restrained and slick, where this album is a drugged out rock star in full train wreck mode. I need my rock stars dead on drugs.
15- Jeff Buckley - "Grace"
For the rest of this list I will answer the nagging question of "But how did that beat out Nirvana?" . Have you ever heard Jeff Buckley sing? He could improvise singing from the phone book and it would beat Nirvana.He killed himself with much more style as well.
14-Alice in Chains - "Dirt"
An ode to drugs and misery. This rocks, "Rooster" is the only song I do not like on this album but "Would" balances that out. Reason it beat Nirvana? Jerry's guitar playing and Layne is a better junkie, Cobain also smoked crack while Layne just shot hard and he died from an overdose , not his wife murdering him. Yes trolls I know I just implied Cobain killed himself in the blurb above, and he did by staying with Love.
13-Acid Bath - "Paegan Terrorism Tactics"
Yes they made it on here twice. Dax Riggs' first alright trumps Nirvana's discography. He might be alive or is he for he claims " dying felt so god damn good today" They are from New Orleans so my theory is he did before this album was made then brought back to life with voo-doo by children playing in the catacombs. Drugs... I scream ,you scream, every body screams for morphine.' He even admits to being a zombie.
12-Fugazi - " Steady Diet of Nothing"
Dave Grohl would tell you they could not hold a candle to Fugazi, in fact he did while making a tv show about his terrible album. Ian Mckaye means no drugs. But this album has groove and punk anger coiled together and ready to burst at any moment, glued together with chops worthy of the Police.
11- Nine Inch Nails - " the Downwards Spiral"
I am not sure how this album's dominance over Nirvana could be in question. They even did it and got massive radio air play. This album did for industrial what Van Halen's 1984 did for cock rock. Reznor made it out alive, but this album has tons of self loathing.
11- Sade
