Sunday, December 30, 2018

The Top 10 Worst Albums of 2018

It is that time again. Here we take a look at the worst albums of the year. They come from various genre's though most are sadly on the harder side and either punk or metal, with a few wanting to be metal. The score from my reviews to help determine the ranking, on other lists I also used how many times Last FM told me I listened to each album , but since I only listened to these once and was glad to be done, we are just going by how low they scored. Rather than posting media of a track from each band I am leaving a link to the review, which will contain Bandcamp or Full Album Streams. Ok enough talking about it, the time has come to dig into the top ten worst albums of 2018.

10-Pink Cocoon-"Alienation" 

 This band from Montreal plays a Feedback soaked style of proto-doom. Even with the raw sound of their mix some interesting guitar tones seep out. The vocals sound more like they are from an indie rock band than a harder rock band. The guitar solos consist of trickling chaos and melting effects pedals.While a finely tuned ear can pick out where all of this is coming from, hip teenage on drugs, who are into the Flaming Lips but want something with a more dangerous edge that is not as heavy as metal might latch onto this album. It might have been more common place in the 90s and would have appealed to the college crowd them. As it is this album started off a better listen then kinda fell off course when the drugs kicked in for them.

9-Mammoth Grinder-"Cosmic Crypt"

  In music journalism there seems to be two schools of thought either paint the band into the picture of who you want your audience to be or if you are really into kissing a record label or P/R companies ass, paint them into being who they want them to be. I try not to play into either school and try to just call a spade a spade . It's what I used to like about rap from the 80s or 90s they had a quality control and used to call out rapper who were whack, These days that only happens in the comment section of music blogs and tend to devolve into trolling with not reference point or fact. I can say this band is not whack as they are good at what they do , however what they do is very easy to define. I think these guys benefit from the fact that they come in so heavy it makes it sound like there is more of an original flavor than might really be there it's not until the fourth song "Divine Loss" that I am able to hear a clear cut distinction between songs.

8-Machine Head- "Catharsis" 

 While they are not letting freedom ring with a shot gun blast, the first song was aggressive enough to almost work though on the second listen it seemed like they were angry in the same way Slipknot is angry. If you think that is a good thing then we are going to have differing views on what we want out of this album. There were only two songs that did much for me. These guys know what they are doing I would expect something a little more mature from a 50 year old rather than teenage temper tantrums, that brand of angst could be more refined.

7-Thou- "the House Primordial"

 I guess this album got my ears tuned up to review the new album from the Body that was sitting in my in-box.The Body was better and I normally don't like them. The first two songs were decent and the rest of the album is really heavy. Once again they latch onto heaviness without committing to writing an actual song. They have some good sounds and it's disappointing that they did not live up to the promise of the first two songs, but if you need heavy as fuck then this is for you

6-Light the Torch -"Revival" 

 How is Howard Jones doing now that he is not in Killswitch Engage? Well that depends on what side of the band did you like?A- The side that owed more to 80s thrash metal than Myspace?Or B- the big hooky choruses that made them more accessible.If you answered B, then you can go check your friend's list on Myspace and masturbate to the girls that never talked to you on their in the first place on there because they were porn robots. Now for the rest of us who like heavy music. This album sounds more Sevendust than Killswitch Engage. This gets worse with each passing song


 Things were getting weird. It was my first time sitting down and giving a solid listen to one of the albums from this Australian project albums. I have heard lots of good things, and caught a song here and there, but never immersed my self in them. These guys have said fuck accessible we are going straight for crazy as god damn hell.It opens with noise and then bursts into noisy discordant chaos that can be linked to the DNA of death metal. It's not something I need to listen to more than once. If you like both noise and death metal in a blender then this is more your speed


 Everything following this band's first album has fallen flat. It's not been metal, which isn't the main problem. The main problem is the fact that it has sounded like Abba covering Blue Oyster Cult. Yep some real Satanic shit if you are a fucking pussy. So "Rats" the lead single off this album was encouraging as it sounds like they are now trying to rip off "Bark At the Moon" era Ozzy. since only the first half is worth a shit. If you think this is metal, the world doesn't need you and I encourage taking the needed measures like walking out into traffic as it is what Satan would want.

3-Cemetery Lust- "Rotting in Piss"

 If you put Venom, Possessed and early Slayer in a blender the results would be this band. Those are all bands I liked a lot in high school. The energy they recapture certainly carries the first song. Then things go down hill, it's so redundant it fades into the background. Thrash should hit you , have sharp enough hook to grab your attention and keep you coming back for more. If you are too young to know better then I would suggest checking out albums like "Show No Mercy" and "Seven Churches"

2-Bullet For My Valentine- "Gravity" 

 If you are looking for these guys to get heavy this is clearly not the album for that. They are given you a collection of power ballads for millenials who missed out the 80s, but through a filter of slick production that makes most of the radio rock sound the same. They fully commit to bringing the ballads and break out the acoustic guitars on the last song. Selling out made sense back in the day when people bought albums , but now not so much. If your goal is to get on a tour with the Foo-fighters then maybe. I'll give this one a 4 as it wimps out at every turn and is not true to who they used to be, not that who they were was that hard core in the first place , but I prefer the more Motley Crue version of this band


1-Zeke - "Hellbender" 

 This one might have gotten the lowest score I have given an album, since lower than 3 means I typically can't get past three songs. Good thing they were short as it made it a little less painful. I would tell you if you are into this sort of thing to round it up to a 3, but chances are you will die of alcohol poisoning before you get a chance to make it through this entire album that for some reason Relapse records is seeing fit to release, I guess they need a tax shelter. I was about to say to take into consideration that I am not the biggest fan of punk, but that's not right as I do like punk done right with some thought put into the three chords it uses.

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