Saturday, March 28, 2015

Report to the Dance Floor : Madonna's "Rebel Heart"

Me and the Fabulous Ms. M have been out of touch. After "Music" we parted ways, she went on to have a mid-life crisis and released four albums none of which had anything that entered into my consciousness, but then again when I quit doing drugs, I also quit frequenting gays bars. The first song on Madonna's new album "Rebel Heart" makes it apparent gays bars are where she has been hiding out making music. This is perfect for my climate so there is a bit of a nostalgic edge to this which gives me a appreciation for this album which in it's initial sales haven't impressed the rest of the world , but what do those sheep know about good music any way?

So this is a dance album, expecting anything more than smart pop is like critics who go into comic book movies thinking they are going wow the Sundance Festival. I was impressed by the first few listens , but putting it under the microscope might yield different results, the big hook to "Ghosttown" does sound like Lady Gaga, but Lady Gaga owes her whole career to Madonna so that argument is rendered null. "Unapologetic Bitch" has some dance hallish slink to Madonna's more rapped delivery, yeah , I guess she developed that skill on some of the albums I missed out on, I think she does it better than Gaga, who started off as more of a rapper. The production on this album is unearthly, I would listen to more pop music if it pumped like this. One of my instant favorites "Illuminati" feels like the middle section of "Vogue" parred up the funkier bridge in Katy Perry's "Dark Horse", but Katy please see the foot note we already made in regard to Lady Gaga's career and apply it to yourself.  The "every body in the party is shining like Illuminati " is well...dope.

Only she can get away with a song like "Bitch, I'm Madonna" there are elements that remind me of Aqua's "Barbie Girl" . Aqua refer to what we told Katy Perry. I can take or leave Nicki Minaj, which is pretty much the rule with all of the guest spots except for Chance the Rapper who is the only fool that really adds anything. Mike Tyson? give me a fucking break.  "Hold Tight" is the first song on here that doesn't wow me. Seven songs in well... suppose that's not too bad though we go for perfection around here. The acoustic guitar and balladry shows up on "Joan of Arc" and when it comes Madonna's ballad, I want to compare it "Live to Tell"...oh, yes I know her older catalogue like the back of my hand. "Iconic" even with the dumb Mike Tyson thing is better than all the other shit on the radio.

"Heart break City" sounds like something that could have been on the Twin Shadow album I just reviewed, but sung a tad less passionately . "Body Shop" is an odd song that I am not sure what to think of so it's probably good and it just is going to take some time for me to absorb it, as it doesn't really sound like anything I have heard her do before. It's about time to get this show back on the dance floor and with the battle cry of "Bitch get off my pole" Madonna brings it with 'Holy Water" though the lyrics seem to be implying her body fluids are what tastes like holy water, which at her age and life experiences I find that highly doubtful. "Inside Out" she continues down the path this album seems to work best upon. It's a little darker which is fine by me. I am not sure what they have done with her voice , but she sounds like a teenager here.

The album closes with a song I  do not think is the strongest, which makes me wonder why some of the other songs like "S.E.X" or the title track were not included, though the song "Rebel Heart" is only marginally better than "Wash Me All Over".  Oh, well it is what is, don't believe the hype saying this is a bomb, because it's not creatively , try to get the expanded edition there some songs that are actually better than some of these , but this still is getting a 9.5 as Madonna is back in biznasty.

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