Thursday, November 5, 2015

Don't Feed the Trolls

This is a new column where we climb under the bridge and try to understand the logic of trolls. Maybe there is no understanding them so in that case we will try to sort through their fecal deposits on the various web sites I write for. Regulars here know I also write for such sites as Cvlt Nation, No Clean Singing, Treblezine and Hiplanta. Its just math that dictates with a bigger audience comes a larger percentage of dumb assess, who rarely think before they type. While in their parents basements many of these find their only source of pleasure trying to argue non-existent points for no other reason than the attention their parents did not give them. While one might assume taking steps to break the cycle of endless forums and masturbation would make the most sense, these glue sniffers only respond to one thing...nothing. That's right, I learned a conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words, so post the article then drop the mic.

But since this is my blog and I can do what ever the hell I want here I am going to dissect the troll excrement for nothing but my own amusement, and maybe you might learn something along the way. Our first installment comes from the comment section of No Clean Singing .

  1. Justin C says:
    Hey now, let’s not disparage retro stoner crap-core.
  2. Leperkahn says:
    Wouldn’t exactly say that this has been a slow year for doom, but I do agree that this new Hooded Menace crushes.
  3. Absolutely menacing and not the least bit disappointing :)
  4. Baconator says:
    …Skepticism, Shape of Despair, Bell Witch, Ahab, Elder, Windhand? And that’s just some big names…
    • MelbCro says:
      Add to that great albums from veterans My Dying Bride and Paradise Lost. But apparently a slow year for doom….
      Also seeing this being compared to Pallbearer is just plain lazy. To me just shows that the reviewer isn’t really that familiar with doom (particularly death doom), which is fine but be honest rather than trying to project being knowledgeable about the genre. People will see throughout straight away.
  5. Grant Skelton says:
    Hell yes. Love this album. Multiple listens in 1 day easy.
  6. blend77 says:
    Abjuration already has my vote for death doom of the year,
Well Justin C gets it. While Leperkhan is doing some wishful thinking.

Derek / Godless Angel seems to be with the program as well...wait it's coming

…Skepticism, Shape of Despair, Bell Witch, Ahab, Elder, Windhand? And that’s just some big names…

six bands and lets go ahead and add My Dying Bride seven, later Paradise Lost is mentioned and they are not doom, lets say I get three new metal albums in my in-box a day, which is not counting many albums I hunt down myself , but for the sake of doing the math we will say it averages out to three a day that comes to 1095 albums a year. If there are twenty eight doom metal albums of note if we go ahead and count Paradise Lost in case I over looked one.   That comes out to 2.5 percent of the metal albums that came out this year were doom. Hell lets go ahead and double that number it comes out to five percent. Truth be told both Windhand and Ahab took a step away from being doom bands, a blow to the genre if you considered them to be heavy weights.

MelCro who doesn't realize how the world works from the sanctuary of his parents basement fails to see the Pallbearer comparison is very intentional , because it is not a stretch that after being not only a metal band to blow up in recent years , but a doom band that blew up, this is a fact that is not lost on Hooded Menace, perhaps they just dug "Foundations of Burden" and the influence crept out of their subconscious are they though this riff is cool and kinda has that angular Pallbearer feel, lets use it because it is certainly making them money.  Lazy...well tell to the p/r firms and marketing companies that send me their press releases blatantly trying compare their band to more popular bands in order to reach the broader demographic. Are Hooded Menace jumping on a bandwagon with this album? No, and if reading comprehension scores in America weren't so low then maybe it would have made more sense. Does any other angular riff stand out like it might have come from  St. Vitus, Lycus, Worship, Candlemass,  Coffins, Esoteric, Loss or Mournful Congregation ? Pall Bearer it is.

Abjuration gets a vote, so go check them out until then don't feed the trolls and they will go away.

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