The Top 10 Worst Albums of 2023

It is that time again. Here we take a look at the worst albums of the year. They come from two drastic polarities, very heavy or commercial pop, with only two albums falling into something more like a middle ground.   One of the things that made rap great in the 80s and 90s was rappers calling each other out for being whack. It provided a form of quality control. Now people have grown too sensitive for that kind of hard truth. Some would argue this is all subjective, but music is something that can be defined in technical terms, as well as artistic, and how it holds up over time. Chances are if it is hard is get through one listen it is not going to stand the test of time. For most of these albums, it was hard for me to write a full review of as I could not listen to the album as a whole and had to skip around to try to find something worthwhile to listen to. Sure, some of these might have sold a ton of albums but the Fast and Furious movies are garbage in terms of storytelling, so the sheep are not a great barometer. So here are the top ten worst albums of 2023

10-Sam Smith -"Gloria" 

 The facts are this album which is clearly rolling off the assembly line of the industry's agenda machine boasts 14 songwriters and 12 producers for the 23 songs featured on the album. It benefits from great production in how the harmony vocals are layered. Aside from that, the overall vibe is his vocals could be that of any random singer on a gay house track. Having worked in plenty of gay bars over the years, I have heard more than enough of this already, it's just being re-packaged for today. ll the soul it should have gets produced out of it by cut-and-paste production. So it's a slick product that will fool stupid masses with the depth of paper plates, but musical not terrible just bland with a few decent moments, he needs to just lean into the gay house side, as mainstream success will really just be the 15 minutes of fame his current controversy grants him then the news cycle will spin away and people will forget about him. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/02/sam-smith-gloria.html

9-Closet Witch- "Chiaroscuro" 

This band hits you with a wall of blasting noise, along with drums that sound like they are cans with plastic lids. There are a few crunchy riffs here and there. The vocals are senseless screaming with little purpose and less lyrical value. The songs I would feel compelled to listen to again would be few and far between,  Not utter nonsense, but they put heaviness before song thus becoming noise. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/12/closet-witch-chiaroscuro.html

8-Doja Cat  - "Scarlet" 

You might wonder why I am reviewing the new Doja Cat, you might be more surprised to know I listened to her "Hot Pink" album quite a bit and found it leaned more in the direction of Grimes. Things have changed and Doja is more embedded in the industry and the machine that pumps out empty soulless music to the masses. If you think music is all a matter of opinion then let us look at the facts. Hot Pink" had  15 producers  13 songwriters compared to this album which sadly boasts  27 producers and 33 songwriters.  For some perspective "Darkside of the Moon" only had three people who were not in Pink Floyd, if you are counting the singer guesting on "Great Gig in the Sky". I know there is someone dumb enough to say 

"But could Pink Floyd make a video like Demons?" 

I guess you have never seen "The Wall". 

It's polished and some of the songs are alright if you want mindless entertainment, she proves she is a better singer than a rapper, and this is the best an artist can sound when they are driving their career in the wrong direction. Would like to hear this with half the producers and songwriters, and then it might just sound like less than inspired pop music.

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/09/doja-cat-scarlet.html

7-Buggin -"Concrete Cowboys" 

Tthis album became something I endured for the sake of the review rather than enjoyed. They are at best pretty stereotypical hardcore punk, the songwriting falls apart, making it hard to believe Revolver listed this in their best hardcore albums of the year so far, guess their writers do not know shit about hardcore. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/09/buggin-concrete-cowboys.html

6-Big/Brave - "nature morte" 

The predictable flood of reviews claimed this album is incredible. I can never imagine myself wanting to listen to this again. Most of the album lingers around bathing in its own ambiance. In terms of music as art, this is a few strokes of loud colors on a canvas that hands in a rich person's living room to make them feel cultured because they own art.

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/02/bigbrave-nature-morte.html

 

5-Ghost -"Phantomime" 

Their version of "Jesus He Knows Me" was so terrible, I did not even think I would be able to get through an ep of this. Then I considered the problem which is Ghost is given impunity by most metal media, so if anyone is going to stand up and call it as they hear it, it would have to be me. Even Tina Turner's husky alto proves to have more balls than Papa Smurf can manage. While it is better than I anticipated, I expected something 100 percent unlistenable, it's about 70 percent unlistenable, but you will never hear a worse cover of Iron Maiden. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/05/ghost-phantomime.html

4-Organ Dealer- "The Weight of Being"

 

The fine line between grindcore and death metal is separated by a more spastic sense of punk. The drawback is that these explosive moments are often never allowed to fully form, as everything is in a short burst. This often feels like a collection of aborted ideas that were never allowed to gestate into a fully written song. With these guys, it also runs the risk of everything sounding the same. If you like your music to be endured rather than enjoyed, go jump into traffic.  Everlasting Spew should be ashamed of themselves for releasing this. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/06/death-is-june-organ-dealer-weight-of.html

 3-Body Void-  "Atrocity Machine" 

If the world was not going to end in a few months I might be more concerned about the growing problem with American metal. It seems that these hipsters who invaded the scene back in the early 2000s are now a bunch of virtue-signaling babies who make metal that is really them squalling as they soil their diapers. They put the fact that they represent a social group and to not like them means you are not inclusive. They do this with little regard for actually being worth a shit. The album gets progressively worse because once the shock of their dense noisy sound wears off you are left with a band that plays at a sluggish drone because their musical ability is sub-par to the point of almost being just noise. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/11/november-is-doom-body-void-atrocity.html

2-Hellish Form- "Deathless" 

I often speak about why things like taste in music matter. It is because what you ingest in terms of the entertainment you consume says a great deal about you. Music perhaps more so because it is about the vibrational frequency you connect with. The same can be said of the people who create music, trash music normally equates to trash people, who are often more form than function.   Anyone who tries to tell you this is one of the best albums so far this year, knows so little, a punch in the mouth would be the greatest act of kindness you could make on their behalf. It is almost the most boring album I wasted my time on this year, but that honor goes to the number one album. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/05/hellish-form-deathless.html

 

1-Divide & Dissolve -"Systemic"

This duo is trying to rage against a mystery machine, but their convictions overstep the grasp of their instruments.  My theory of sounds vs songs can not be more clearly displayed than what happens here. meander with stagnant ideas. It's one thing to barely be able to play your instrument if you can use the fragile grasp to put together a song, but instead, it's a collection of happenstance sounds being used as a vehicle for voices they have not found the proper outlet for. 

https://abysmalhymns.blogspot.com/2023/07/divide-dissolve.html